http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z42ZzjVaOHQ
When I was a kid in elementary school I had a really hard time. I was one of two children of color in an all white Catholic school, (the other was my little sister). I was outspoken and smart, (I actually skipped a grade). I was into theatre and music, performing downtown in plays. I was very different than my schoolmates. At least that?s how they made me feel-like I really didn?t fit in. And most of my classmates actively made sure that I knew it, in both physical and emotional ways. But some, some did it passively by just ignoring me and the bad things that were being done by the other kids. All of them were bully?s.
Bullying is an epidemic in our society, especially in elementary school. Student bullying is one of the most frequently reported discipline problems at school: 21% of elementary schools, 43% of middle schools, and 22% of high schools reported problems with bullying in 2005-06. Most bullying fact sheets will tell you that victims of bullying are people who are timid and less likely to report offenses. That may be true in general, but there are still many bullying victims who are just the opposite. Who appear to be strong, capable, and perhaps talented individuals. And it is those very qualities that can make them a target. They may find that their classmates target them in an attempt to cut them down to size and put them in their place, so to speak. The play of today is creating a generation filled with ?Simon?s?, (IE American Idol). Being the evil critic is totally acceptable and practically expected. Supporting someone, cheering them on, encouraging new pursuits…well that?s just not cool. Better to demonstrate how cutting you can be with your tongue OR, if tongue lashing isn?t your forte then maybe you can start a club to alienate the target. Shut them out of the conversations, pick them last for the team in gym class, close them out of the lunch table, or simply pretend they don?t exist.
I spend a lot of time in schools all across the country and I can tell you this happens every day. And because the targets appear strong and self sufficient, and the bullying is cut downs and exclusion, not physical or overt, many parents and educators are missing the danger. But it is dangerous, and destructive. It eats away at even the strongest of children, because everyone wants to feel accepted and a part of the group. It?s human nature. Just because you have a strong character and perhaps a talent, doesn?t mean you don?t bleed like everyone else or cry like everyone else. Everybody hurts. Some just hide it better than others.
But just because a child can cope, doesn?t mean they should have to.
Let?s all make a point of opening our eyes and recognizing the child standing off to the side, and the child standing right in front of the room. They both deserve our attention but they also need our protection. Lead by example. Don?t tolerate exclusion. Don?t tolerate unsupportive language. Step in and change the tide. Sometimes all it takes is eye contact, a smile and a simple ?hello? to change the World.
SMILE On!
ML
Miss Lori can be found Musing from her Minivan at MissLori.TV , Wearetherealdeal.com and ChicagoMomsBlog. You can also see her Activating to Be Great at Miss Lori’s CAMPUS on Youtube, Facebook, and LinkedIn.
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My children and I, plus two other families, had the great fortune to go and see a pre-screening of the movie The Spy Next Door. (I received free tickets through my association with ChicagoMomsblog.com, and I also won several through MomsLikeMe.com Win It Weekend.) We had 10 kids in tow, ages 7-12, and 3 Moms. A very diverse group. First off I can tell you that we all enjoyed ourselves. No painful groans at the end of the movie. No whining wanting to know, ?Why did you drag me to see this?!? Everyone came out of the movie happy that we went in. It was kid safe, it was funny, and it was the right length. 
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