My own little Christmas miracle. As I sat holding my youngest in church last night I was a little overcome with emotion. It wasn’t just the soulful music from the choir, or the spirit of the holiday, it was really about the little girl sitting in my lap, and the journey that she bravely traveled this last year. I am so in awe of her strength, her resolve and her perserverence, despite all that was hurled at her. Through it all she has remained a sparkling, vivacious spirit that lights my soul.
My daughter Jaedyn started getting ill in November of 2008. We had no idea what was happening to her. Her teachers noticed it at first, the dimming of her energy. They brought it to our attention, saying Jaedyn, just wasn’t acting like Jaedyn. If you had ever met jC before November of 2008 you would know exactly what they meant. But to those who hadn’t met her, like the new doctors we went to see, JC looked like a perfectly healthy and energetic 5 year old. They didn’t realize that they were only seeing her at half mast.
For the last year Jaedyn has had to suffer through examination after examination, ultra sound after ultra sound, blood draw after blood draw, in the search for an answer as to what was making her ill. The short story is, we never found out. Jaedyn’s pancreas is unnaturallyy enlarged, and we don’t know if that is the problem or just a symptom. After a year of symptom ups and downs, MRCP’s, poking and prodding, we still don’t know.
As a result of this msterious battle fo health, Jaedyn missed out on a great deal of her Kindergarten year. During teacher conferences her teacher would show me JCs low bench mark reading and writing scores and then tell me she knew they were not representative of what JC could do. That I shouldn’t worry because once JC was feeling better her natural ability would be able to rise to the top. I wasn’t worried necessarily, but I was very sad. Sad because all jaedyn really wanted to do in Kindergarten was learn to read. She loves books. She hasbeen telling stories from pictures since she learned to talk. This illness was not just robbing her of her energy, it was stealing her dream of learning. And yet, she stayed positive most of the time, and hopeful all of the time. I told her her reading would come eventually, when she had a little more energy to be able to concentrate. When my belief would start to falter, she would squeeze my hand and look up at me with those big brown eyes and smile, and the World would right itself again.
Fast forward to this month. Jaedyn has been in decent health thus far this school year. She has attacked her studies like a prize fighter. Earlier in September she had an opportunity to join me out of town for a few days, but declined. I couldn’t believe she wanted to skip going to a hotel with a swimming pool. She told me, “Mommy I missed so much school last year, I can’t miss any more until I learn to read!” Touche! Her symptoms are in hiding at present. Though they stated peeking out a week ago through a rash on her face. I hold my breath as I examine her, fearful of a return of the boogey man that we have yet to name. But nothing can hold Jaedyn back. She has continued to climb the tree of life despite the occassional thorny branch. Nothing will hold her down. Her spirit is too bouyant, her determination too strong.
I got a glimpse of that will the other aftrernoon when I arrived at the playground to pick her up form school. It was a gray and chilly day. But there, up in a tree was a ray of sunshine, a beacon of light. There I saw my little JC holding court with two of her friends, READING! She was reading her “Nina, Nina Ballerina” book out loud with muted triumph. I stole a video of the momentous event, all the while my heart was throbbing in my chest. On the other side of my video screen was a huge miracle in a little girl package, and I was so thankful.
So on this Christmas I offfer you faith. Faith that even on a murky day there can be a little sunshine if you keep your eyes and your heart open to the possibility. And never, never let anything take away your dreams.
SMILE On!
Miss Lori
Miss Lori can be found Musing from her Minivan at MissLori.TV , Wearetherealdeal.com and ChicagoMomsBlog. You can also see her Activating to Be Great at Miss Lori’s CAMPUS on Youtube, Facebook, and LinkedIn.
About misslori
