Best laid plans. I try to have good plans. I put a lot of time and effort into preparing my life for changes, hopefully for the better. The last three years have been unexpected, undesirable, unpleasant, uneven… the only thing they haven’t been is uneventful. In a word it’s been hard. Almost all of my personal fears in life came true in the last three years. The good news, I’m still here. The bad news, well, there’s a long list, but I wake up every day and tackle it; some days with more gusto than another, but I get up. When you are in a state of transition plans are important. It’s true what they say about the benefit of working when you are faced with troubles, it helps to have something to focus on. So I do that. I make plans. I work. I try to forge ahead.
This Summer I set out to bring new and more positive energy to my kids and me by redoing our bedrooms. Two of my kids swapped rooms, all of them got fresh paint, one of them got a new bigger bed. (He had to, his feet were hanging off the twin mattress like giant flippers). The kids came first, of course. (I’m still working on that priority list order). What did I do with my room? Well, for my transformation I needed to create space that would fuel me. I needed more exercise, (more than just my concerts that is). I needed better business space so I can work creatively, efficiently and most important consistently. And I needed a better nights’ sleep to help me let go of the past and embrace the future. So, I cleared out my King bed and scaled up to a queen. And I do mean up. I have a platform bed, but I added a box spring and a pillowtop mattress, thanks to the wonders of craigslist. I actually need a little stool to climb into bed at night. (I don’t know why it pleases me but it does.) I brought a desk and chair to my bedside so I can finally have my own work space instead of hunching over my computer in bed. And best of all I cleared out a huge space on the other side of my bed for my dream piece. No not a make up table or a walk in shoe closet. I made space for a treadmill.
For as long as I can remember I have wanted a treadmill. What I know to be true about myself and my life is that for me to be able to workout it has to happen in my room before I step out into the day and take on my regular duties as Mom, homemaker, community leader, Marketainer and Miss Lori. My kids wanted to get me a treadmill for my last two birthdays and Christmases, but I begged them off because I didn’t want them to spend money that quite frankly we didn’t have. But as all of the life coaching I have seen or read over the years has taught me you have to make space in your life, literally and figuratively, for the things that you want to come into your life. So I did.
I cleared the space in my rearranged bedroom, and within a week I found a treadmill being given away on craigslist. (Wow this life coaching stuff really works!) I drove out to the suburbs and picked up my first treadmill. It wasn’t in as great of condidtion as I had been led to beleive. It folds up, but needs a bungy cord to hold it in place. The screws that hold the display computer in place are broken so the panel moves around. But the treadmill runs and it inclines, so I didn’t look my gift horse in the mouth. But a horse it was, because when I went to help load it into my minivan with the father and son I was getting it from, I was astounded by the weight. It gave me pause, but I shook off the nagging feeling and instead remained thankful for the opportunity to meet a need; MY need. It felt good.
I got the unit home but it stayed in the back of my van for a few days. Finally I convinced my jock son to help me get it to my third floor bedroom. I cleared the stairs to make an unobstructed path. I singularly unloaded the treadmill from the back of my car thanks to its’ squeaky wheels. I got it right up to the house door and called for my son. We lined up on either side of the unit and bent our knees to lift. Holy $%!& that’s heavy! My son stared at me with a look of horror. A look that said, “Mom are you kidding me!” My son is strong from all of his basketball work, and it was that basketbal career that I thought of in that moment. It would not be in his best interest to haul such a heavy object up two flights of stairs and potentially hurt himself, and his career, so I gave the abort signal. That was three weeks ago. Since then my treadmill has been sitting in the doorway of my garage like an albatros, a great symbol of defeat. The best laid plans, right?
This post may be almost over, but this story isn’t. I don’t have any idea at this moment how I am going to solve this, but solve it I will, because I don’t have the option to give up. I live my life as though I don’t have a choice. It’s kept me upright through the hardest and bleakest of times. No heavy ass treadmill is going to weigh me down now. (I do need help though. So if you have any ideas I would love for you to share them.) In the mean time I am marshaling forward, making new plans, and making room in my life for more than just a treadmill. Because my children need me to do right by me so they will know how to do right by themselves, now and into the future. It’s like I always say, “It’s not enough to teach a child to stand tall, you have teach them what to do when they fall.” That lesson will protect them when life’s plans go awry. Those best laid plans.
Miss Lori can be found Musing from her Minivan at MissLori.TV , Wearetherealdeal.com , YoungChicagonista ,ChicagoMomsBlog , and ChicagoMoms.com. You can also see her Activating to Be Great at Miss Lori’s CAMPUS on Youtube, Facebook, Twitter , Pinterest, Instagram, TOUT and LinkedIn.