Dear Mike Huckabee, You Are the Pimp

Stop Trying To Pimp #Beyonce #MikeHuckabee #MLTVrace


Dear Mike Huckabee,

I had the occasion today to listen to Beyonce’s entire self titled album with my tween and teen daughters on a road trip. Ironically it was just last night that I told myself I needed to do so after having watched your recent interviews on The Daily Show and The View calling her a corrupting force and labeling her husband her Pimp. I wanted to reaquaint myself with the year plus old CD so I could understand what all your fuss was truly about. I’m not one of your “Bubba’s”, if I understand your definition correctly. So normally you don’t grace my screen, and when you do I don’t pay you too much mind. But your interviews made it clear that you were including my children in your expression of concern about the corrupting influence of Beyonce and her musical lyrics, so I paid attention. As I said, I had the occasion to listen to “Beyonce” in its’ entirety today in the car, at a decibel that made me infinitely capable of hearing all of her lyrics. I’m guessing, given your charge, that you are familiar with those lyrics? However, judging from your criticisms it doesn’t seem to me that you actually understood her message. I’m not her friend. (I don’t even play her friend on TV). I don’t collect royalties from any of her work. I am just a mother of impressionable teens and a tween, the very children you have charged that her music is supposedly corrupting. What I heard from the album was Beyonce, a wife and new mother, using her talent and creativity to express the wealth of feelings that had arisen in her as a result of her new life order. She used her album to celebrate her femininity, her womanhood, and her sexuality. Beyonce gave musical voice to the joy she feels about her love for her husband, and the passion she feels for their monogamous, married, love making. That’s a Christian value is it not, to marry and procreate, remaining faithful to your spouse? Yet, you have taken issue with her. I find that curiously hypocritical. You yourself wrote in your book that,

“I’ve never been ashamed of where I come from or the way I grew up. I wouldn’t trade it for any amount of money. I learned to be resourceful and resilient. Only in the last few years have I earned the kind of money that empowered me to give away more than I used to make. It’s given me mobility, opportunities and comfort that I couldn’t have imagined as a child.”

You have that in common with Beyonce. She too did not come from wealth. Hers has arisen from consistent hard work and resilience. She too gives back to her community, making contributions of time and money to help better our country and improve the health and well being of her fellow man and woman kind. So what’s the difference? Is it that you speak of your wife “,”weathering 40 years of marriage with you” while Beyonce sings of being “drunk in love” with her husband? Is that the real issue? That seems like more of a personal problem don’t you think? What does that have to do with my children?

I gotta tell you, out of all the music out there I would rather that my children hear someone sing about passionate lovemaking with the person they love with all of their being, are building a life with while also giving life to their family, than the glorified sexual assaults and dehumanization of women I hear in many other songs in every musical style there is, save polka. I want my daughters to embrace their empowered “Yes” in their personal sexuality as much as I want them to be protected by their definitive “No”. I want my son to believe in the enrichment that loving coupling can bring to your soul. I want them to know a fulfilling marriage is real and very possible, not the joke that so many television shows, movies, video games and songs attempt to make monogamous marriage into. As such, I am grateful to Beyonce and her husband Jay-Z for sharing their love with the public. Doing so they are giving a very real example of the type of successful, loving partnership I hope my children will experience in their lifetime.

Now I do have to hand it to you. You have masterfully utilized this negative campaign to help put yourself on talk shows, in magazine articles and on the radio, when most people would otherwise have not really been talking about you at all. I certainly wouldn’t be writing to you like this. In a sense you could say that you yourself are personally capitalizing on Beyonce’s hard work, riding her coat-tails so to speak. I gotta say Mr Huckabee, if anyone is acting like Beyonce’s pimp, it’s you. Heaven’s to Betsey something must been done to eliminate this corruption! In the interest of the children I think you have no choice but to remove yourself from public view. I’m sure you understand. It’s all for the preservation of lil’ Bubbas everywhere. Save the Bubbas!



Miss Lori


If you enjoyed this piece please check out these Miss Lori posts: Dear Kate Middleton, I’ve Got Your Back, Beyonce Lip Syncing Is Not A Tragedy, Just Good History, Miss Lori Had Ulterior Motive Adding #MichaelJackson To Title, and 15 Statements of Empowerment For Penn State Child Abuse Victims.


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